ani

Frustration, Resignation, and Plans
2006-03-12 @ 12:30 a.m.

I don't know if I can spend the next four years here. I'm half way through my second semester and I already have a whole group of people who hate me. This school isn't so big that I can easily avoid everyone. Plus, everyone new I meet I feel like has some kind of connection with them and I'm paranoid so I always think that they don't like me too. I don't want to transfer, it seems like so much trouble. But the thought of having such a limited pool of friends is killing me.
I'm just breaking. I see them everywhere. I can't deal with it. They've won.
I think I might to UVM. It's pretty similair and I was accepted last year so getting in wouldn't really be a problem.
Or maybe I'll just go through college like I went through high school with only a few close friends and no one else. I should probably just graduate in three years. College is so much better than high school, but maybe the best is still yet to come. Maybe things will be better out of school.
OK. I'll stay here for fall semester next year, then France in the spring, then I can go abroad someplace else in the fall, and then spring semester of '08 I'll come back and then I'll graduate. Three years, going abroad twice, that means only one more total year actually at New Paltz with all these people who hate me. If I plan carefully enough, this might actually be able to work.