ani

Typing, School, and Talents
2005-05-03 @ 4:28 p.m.

Well, it's been a while since I've updated, but I'm at the library right now and I really like the new keyboards they got. They feel nice to type. So I figured why not.
I'm sick of school. I don't see the point in it anymore. I only have to pass economics and gym pretty much, and I'm set. I've decided that I'm going to SUNY New Paltz, though I feel like I should be more excited about this than I actually am. And I'm not sure what's going to go on this summer. I might not be able to do Annie Get Your Gun depending on what orientation I have to go to for New Paltz. I wanted to do an internship at NYSTI this summer, but I didn't actually apply for it, so I don't think I can. Not that there was a due date or anything, but whatever. Maybe I'll just do the application and send it in anyway, see what they say. I get the feeling that they're pretty relaxed about everything there.
The show for NYSTI TAS is this saturday. I think this will be the second time I'll actually be proud of what we're doing. There are some weird things, but we're taking a risk, so that's cool. The only thing I don't like is my monologue. I think it's embarrassing. I feel awkward when I'm on stage, and I have to be close to this guy Shawn, which I have no problem with normally, except that the monologue makes it seem like I'm in love with him. The person it's written about it totally different, so different that I feel like it sort of changes what I'm really talking about to have him there. But whatever. I'll just do it and it will be over with.
This year though, I really like the people. Well, except one who I dreamt last night killed himself, though he didn't really and it's not like I want him to do that. It's just what I dreamt. But I'm probably never going to see most of these people again after the show. That's only four more days. They'll probably all do something after the show, but I'm going out with Em 'cause it's her birthday. It's not that I would rather be with them, because Em is definately my number one priority that night, it's just that I wish I didn't have to choose.
I've been feeling really untalented lately. I look around me and there are so many people who are especially good at something. I don't have any sort of natural talent at anything. I suppose I could educate myself on something, but there's nothing that peaks my interest enough for me to devote that much time to it.
Actually, I have recently become obsessed with the world of hip-hop and rap. I find it fascinating. I like talking to Greg and David because I feel like they're sort of my open forum for racial discussions, which sounds so dorky, but hey. It's not really all that different from friendship. The only problem is that I'm some dorky little middle class white chick. At NYSTI, the voice teacher taught us step dancing though, and I think it's awesome. I wish I were black and used to live in a ghetto and then later had the chance to live the life I live now. I'd be so interesting.
As of now though, I'm really boring. I work at the freaking public library. I am just so cool.