ani

Driving, Claire, and Cancer
2004-10-06 @ 5:36 p.m.

I feel so sad. I hate not having a parking space. I know that's a stupid reason to be sad, but it seriously makes me want to cry. It makes me feel so young and immature. Like everyone else is so much passed me. That I'm going to always be the one who can't go where I want after school, who has to call her father for rides. I hate it I hate it I hate it I hate it.
Last night my mom got two calls from my aunt. One was to say that my aunts friends son had dropped dead yesterday. He had a heart attack. He was in eleventh grade. The second call was to say that my aunts best friend was just put on life support. She has breast cancer and was doing better but then things got real bad real fast. She probably won't live more than a week, two at most.
Since I'm in this whole sad mood, I might as well write about her life. Her name is Claire, by the way. Well, I don't know the whole story of her life, but just some of it. Anyway. Both of her parents lived in Germany right before the holocaust. They had 3 children. When Hitler started rounding up jews, they were some of the first to go. The whole family was separated, and all the children were killed. Her mother and father both presumed the other was also killed, but they found each other after at some shelter place and decided to come to America. So they get here, having lost all three children, and have Claire. Whenever she misbehaved, her parents would say things to her like she should have died in the holocaust and that they would trade her in for even one day with one of their other children. So that's her childhood. Her adult life was basically a series of abusive marriages all ending in divorce, cancer, and now, it's all going to be over.
I feel awful. She was the woman who used to babysit me and my brothers and my cousins when we came to visit and the adults all went out to dinner. She would buy candy and hide it from my parents and my aunt and then give it to us later. She would late us stay up late to watch Saturday Night Live. She took us to a folk concert and made us a fancy picnic and was crazy and fun and now she's on life support. Cancer sucks.